Hearing Heaven's Whisper

Hearing Heaven’s Whisper

Understanding the Quiet Call of Conviction

Personal reflections from a fellow traveler.  Not AA approved literature.  Shared in the spirit of Experience, Strength, and Hope.

Why is it so easy to dismiss that still, quiet whisper in my spirit that tells me something is off?  Why do I continue plowing forward in self-will?  Why won’t I pause, assess, and listen more closely?

Perhaps it’s because I am still driving the bus.  Still deceiving myself that if I can fix something or someone, I can soon achieve the outcome I desire.  There’s an unspoken belief that says if I can just shape the outcome, I can heal that deep ache within my heart.

I can’t.

The great chasm I must cross is always between what I know in my mind, and what I feel in my heart.  This is the void that I can get lost in.  I can wallow far too long in places I don’t truly belong. 

When I sense that something is off, I have to practice patience.  I need to get quiet, ensure that I’m spiritually fit, and reduce external input until I can be still.  A quiet morning, a lonely afternoon, a few disciplined moments before sleep.  It’s here that the spirit settles and silence speaks. 

This is where that quiet call of conviction can begin.  Not always as condemnation, but as confirmation.  It never appears as lightning bolts with a thunderous crash, or a violent earthquake.  Rather, its that gentle nudge, that quiet unrest, the pause in my spirit, as if to say, “not this way”.

And yet, how often have I argued with it?

I stayed too long in places where my peace had already departed, simply because my emotions refused to catch up to the truth.  This is dangerous ground for me. In recovery I’ve learned that self-deception isn’t always loud either.  It can be equally mysterious, sometimes wearing the clothing of hope.  Sometimes it sounds like patience or even dresses itself with spiritual language that says; “maybe God is still working here” when what I really mean is; “I’m not ready to let go”. 

This is why I must learn to listen.  My Higher Power will call me out of chaos and into stillness, not because stillness solves anything, but because stillness reveals what my striving has been trying to hide.  Maybe the whisper’s intent isn’t to shame me, but to save me from another season of wandering in the wilderness.

Hearing heaven’s whisper is only the beginning.  The harder work is surrender, acceptance, obedience. 

Where in my life can I learn to listen and hear heaven’s whisper?