Ruts in The Road

Ruts in the Road

Understanding How Relapse Shapes Renewal

Personal reflections by a fellow traveler. Not AA-approved literature. Shared in the spirit of experience, strength, and hope.

The road of recovery is never smooth. It’s worn with deep ruts, cut by the weight of countless wagons that have passed before me. Sometimes I ride steadily, carried forward with joy and fellowship. Other times, I’ve stumbled off the seat and found myself sitting in the dirt, staring at the dust of wagons moving on without me. In that moment, it feels final. It feels like I’ve been left behind.

But the truth is, the wagons never stop coming. Even when I can’t see them on the horizon, another is on its way. Grace rolls steady, wagon after wagon, offering me a seat if I’m willing to climb back on. My relapse doesn’t have to define me; it can shape me. The ruts in the road are reminders of where I’ve fallen, but also markers of the path that leads me back to life.

God uses even the ruts—the slips, the stumbles, the falls—to mold me into something new. Each time I climb back on, I’m not the same rider I was before. I carry more humility, more honesty, more reliance on Him. Renewal isn’t born in perfection but in persistence, in trusting that His train of mercy keeps rolling whether I see it or not.

The ruts in the road don’t end the journey. They remind me that grace is greater than my fall—and that there’s always another wagon on the way.

Failure never has to be final.  Remember that success is built on a mountain of failures.  Each slip represents a lesson learned - then turned into a steppingstone for upward mobility.

In my younger years I looked up to people who were wildly successful.  I only saw them at the peak, I never had the opportunity to see the tears, failures, setbacks and slides.  Now that I’m more experienced I understand it was persistence that provided prosperity. 

Where can I exercise persistence today?