The Rush of Rebellion

Understanding our Nefarious Nature

Personal reflections from a fellow traveler.  Not AA approved literature.  Shared in the spirit of Experience, Strength, and Hope.

Deep within the human heart lies a rebel, a scoundrel, longing to satisfy self at nearly any cost.  Secrets, deception, and even betrayal can be buried beneath the surface.  What’s most ironic is that these defects usually afflict the individual who practices them more than anyone else. 

Secrets carry a sting, deception destroys, and betrayal brings a foul bite.

Only when the pain of consequence blooms do we seek change, and sometimes that pain demands high tuition.

Human beings can be wildly duplicitous.  Two-faced.  Hypocritical.  It’s in our nature.

This duplicity can be best described as our nature (the flesh) vs. our spirit (the soul).  The battle rages daily.  We know what we ought to do yet choose short term gratification over long-term fulfillment. We trade what is lasting for what is immediate, what is meaningful for what merely feels good in the moment. 

It is in these moments that we experience the rush of rebellion, the dopamine surge, the endorphin release, the fleeting thrill of crossing a line we know should not be crossed. For a moment, rebellion feels like freedom. Restraint feels like bondage.

This is our nefarious nature.

There is an ancient phrase that can be traced back thousands of years, some even call it a principle, the principle of correspondence.   

“As within, so without.”

Its simplicity is brilliant and tells us a much deeper story.  Our outer world reflects our inner state.  The only way to disrupt these patterns is to change the inner self.

This is where our Higher Power comes in.  Salvation cannot be earned, negotiated, or purchased.  It is a gift from the Creator. 

What do we need to be saved from?  Ourselves.

“Ask and it will be given to you; seek and you will find; knock and the door will be opened to you.”
— Matthew 7:7

My outer world shifts when my inner world changes.  My thoughts, perceptions, beliefs, and actions must be challenged to receive and accept salvation from self. 

 What am I willing to confront within myself to become the person I know I ought to be?