The Way Through the Wilderness

The Way Through the Wilderness

Understanding Sacred Strength through Silent Seasons

Personal reflections from a fellow traveler.  Not AA approved literature.  Shared in the Spirit of Experience, Strength, and Hope.

In the words of Jim Rohn; “life gets lifey.”  Disappointment, loss, fear, anger, frustration or failure.  Whatever you’re feeling, that’s the ‘lifey’ part Jim is humorously describing. 

For those of us in recovery, the “lifey” feelings have become a clear and present danger.  After all, it’s the negative feelings we’ve been running from; that ache deep within.  The fear of not being enough.  The sting of rejection.  The loss of a loved one. 

Something happens in my psyche when I’m confronted with emotional pain.  I’m thrown into the “Wilderness”.  A place of the unknown.  I wander around a bit, pick up a familiar pattern for comfort, then desperately try to control something. 

This may not be a large outward expression.  It could be as simple as hanging onto something you know you need to let go of.  The longer one hangs on, the longer they wander in this silent season.

The wilderness isn’t just hardship, it’s that inner place where certainty disappears.  If I’m not careful, here is where the old impulse to escape can awaken.

Here’s the key: Let go.  Surrender.  Kneel.  Wave the white flag.  It’s here at the bottom of ourselves where the work of our Higher Power can begin.  It seems counterintuitive, but perhaps this is one of life’s great paradoxes; let go of it to get it.  Surrender to win.  Kneel to rise. 

Here’s the problem: Letting go feels like losing.  It feels like handing over the very thing I was trying to protect.  Surrender is not defeat.  Surrender is when I stop pretending I can heal myself through control.

I can’t get through the wilderness alone.  I must be led.